So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
