she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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