Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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