What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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