If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I pour the whiskey from now on
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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