turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
