Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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