I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
even my farts smell like vagina
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
