SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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