I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
