Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't think brook has ever known best
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
