found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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