the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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