You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
