He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The power of my boobs compel you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
