is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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