Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
