where does the pee come out of this thing
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
