omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
