please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
