i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
