I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
