Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
