i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
