Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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