the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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