Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
