I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
