So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
