she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Every concussion has its silver lining
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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