i already hear my dad disowning me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
