Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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