Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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