I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
