you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You can't just leave with hair like that
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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