It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
what day is it and did you see me today?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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