Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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