Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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