$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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