So drunk its hurt
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
