so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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