Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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