I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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