I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
