guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
