marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
