My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
