can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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