Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
