Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
